jspencer1986: (Default)
Happy 20th Birthday [livejournal.com profile] jesteroffire.

Have a wonderful day, twin bro.
jspencer1986: (Default)
In light of a recent event where I was given $40 for NO APPARENT REASON, I'd just like to inform the rest of the world that John is officially the nicest guy in THE WHOLE WORLD.

Thank you. You should be given a medal or something. You're really that special.

And on behalf of myself, and every other person you'll ever meet, THANK YOU for being YOU.
jspencer1986: (Default)
John, your email is not too far off being done. I've been working on it for 2 hours so hopefully it won't be much longer.
jspencer1986: (Default)

John, I love you buddy :-)

Thank you.
jspencer1986: (Default)
I'm not thinking clearly, and that results in crazy stupid ideas.

I'm thinking quite seriously about a change. A move. If I can wait it out here where I'm working, go to my conventions in April/May, and hopefully get some part-time work for my days off (whether that be mowing lawns, busking, or doing odd jobs for people), I think I can get a few things sorted out. Honestly, my job is killing me. I'm dying a little more inside every day I have to be there, and as dramatic as that sounds, it's the truth. But, if this is where I need to be right now, then so be it. Here are my goals. I have no time constraints on them, but the quicker the better.


Get my change of name finalised. FINALLY. It hasn't been done yet, for the simple fact that I haven't been able to afford it. Granted $100 doesn't sound like a lot, but it is when you don't have it. This goal includes getting my license changed to say James and MALE. *Note to self: Make appointment with Dr Linnane for letter about change of sex on license*


Get my loans paid off. I'm about $5000 in debt (motorbike/guitar and amp), but if I can manage to get a little extra work here and there I may be able to sort that out sometime quite a bit sooner than expected. OR, my other option is getting a $5000 loan to pay out the 2 other loans. Doing that would cut my monthly payments in half, and I still may be able to pay it out sooner. In any case, I need to find a way to get rid of my debts and save a couple grand. FAST. I'll pretty much do anything short of selling myself on a street corner (although if I got really desperate...). Any ideas?


Apply for a passport. I suppose I'm going to need documentation from both my psychs to get MALE on my passport but I know other guys who haven't had too many problems. I'm going to need to do this sometime in the near future anyway if I ever want to take a holiday to see John, but it also comes into play with...


Take a preliminary trip to the US. Maybe a week or two, just to check the place out, see what the music scene is like, check the availability of work for someone with as few qualifications as I have (again, the street corner may come into play if I get desperate...), etc.


Get details on what I need to do to acquire a work visa or whatever I need to get over there and stay for a while. If I go there, I want to be in it for the long haul - hence the preliminary trip first. I need to know that it's going to be as 'right' as I feel it will be.

Ok, before anybody says anything about it being a rushed, rash, or irrational decision, I would like to say, this has been a long time coming. It's something I've thought about long and hard, and it's not a decision I would take lightly. I love my family and I know I'm going to miss them a lot when I try to do all this, but I feel like this is what I need to do. I was listening to a Carrie Underwood song last night and I heard the line, "I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be", and I realised that I don't feel like that. I never have. This move will hopefully set that right. This is my life, and it might be a wrong decision, but it's my decision to make.

It won't be right away. I need time to organise myself, pay my debts, save some cash and take the trip to figure out the work and housing issues, but give it a year, maybe a little longer, and I hope to be out of this place, and out of the rut I'm in. I want this. No, it's more than that. I need this, and hopefully the people I love can understand and support me. I need to start over, and I think Seattle might just be the place to do it.

John. I just want you to know that although you're a big part of the Seattle decision, I'm not doing this for you. I don't want you to think that I just want to be over there because that's where you are and I want us to be able to hang out or whatever. While I do like the idea of finally getting to be as close in person as we are from opposite sides of the world, this decision was made purely for me. It was your influence that led me to believe that I can actually achieve these goals, and for that I'm thankful. Know that I love you and you'll always be my big brother.
jspencer1986: (Default)
My life, at this point in time, revolves around a few very simple things. There are, of course, other things in my world, but the main ones are the ones that mean the most to me RIGHT NOW. They are the 3 F's. )
jspencer1986: (Default)
I am a leaf on the wind, WATCH HOW I KICK JOHN'S ASS.
jspencer1986: (Default)
Guh...I went hunting for a dvd earlier. It was called Cheats. It has Jewel Staite in it. That's entirely beside the point. I ended up finding it in a really small video store just up the road from my house (after travelling 30km on my motorbike looking for it at every store) and I had to get membership before I could hire it out. SO. I walk up to the counter just as the girl is walking away, and she sees me coming up so she turns back around and OMG. She is the cutest thing I've ever fucking seen. NO, REALLY. I wanted to ask her to have my babies. She'd be no more than probably 18 or 19, which is great for me, about my height, long dark hair, gorgeous eyes, and the cutest little butt (uh...I honestly wasn't looking there on purpose - she was bending over to pick something up when I turned around).

I came right home and told Rick about her so he was like "Do you wanna see her again?" And I was all like "DUH." So, he wants to hire out some Xbox games so I'm taking him up there tomorrow. He thinks thats a good enough excuse for me to go and see her again. I agree.

I love everything right now. Including you. And you. And that funny looking guy with the red and orange knitted hat sittin' over in the corner too. What a weirdo.

OH. John...I have something you might want. *shifty glance* Uh, ask me about it later. It's fuckin' awesome.
jspencer1986: (Default)
I swear there is some annoying force making it impossible for me to reply to emails first go.

I was almost done writing back to John (I know I started it this morning but I got sidetracked...), when out of fucking nowhere comes a huge-ass storm and all of a sudden we have no power. Which also means we have no computer and most annoying of all, NO FUCKING EMAIL. Obviously the power is back on now, and it wasn't really out all that long, but still. The email is gone.

I'd started to make a habit of saving a copy of my emails before I click the send button since I've lost a few emails when pages refuse to load properly, or some other stupid thing happens to prevent the email sending. But I hadn't finished yet, hence, no copy. Nothing. Not a fucking thing.

SO. I'll be up fairly early in the morning since I'm getting to bed relatively early (or at least earlier than usual) and I will try to have an email for John before his lunch break. I just want to be in a good mood when I write, and after the night I've had, and now this, well...it makes for not such a good mood.

In other news I finished the first season of Dead Like Me today. I think the season only improved as it went along, but there's still a few things left unsaid that have been bugging me. Maybe I'll get into that tomorrow, but for now I need to sleep.

Have a nice day, peace y'all.
jspencer1986: (Default)
You got me hooked on Chuzzle. And my mother too.

Hey, you should become a pirate. That would be cool. Or maybe I should become a pirate. Whatever.
jspencer1986: (Default)
I made the 7 hour motorbike ride up to my parents house today. Being so hot here, I didn't wear my motorbike jacket for fear of passing out from the heat. I used LOADS of sunscreen and reapplied like a bitch, but it didn't help. My arms, from my knuckles almost to the shoulder, as well as my legs from the knee down, are burnt BAD. I mean BAD. It's literally painful to move. I fear I may be spending Christmas Day sitting in one position getting drunk to block out the pain, but with any luck this gel stuff (for burns and sunburn) will help enough to make me at least half comfortable by then. I'm wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt for the trip home obviously. There's no way I would be able to work in this state, never mind the fact that I feel like I want to kill myself it's so painful. I thought I was being a good boy, using senscreen (I usually wouldn't have even bothered), but I guess that shit just doesn't work.

I also go to the optometrist tomorrow to get my eyes tested. That may also be slightly challenging in my current immobile state. But I'm SERIOUSLY due for new glasses. I'll be ecstatic to finally have some new ones when I get them in a couple weeks time.

Anyway, since me hands are burnt it's getting quite painful to type, I'm going to put some gel on and pass out.

I'm so happy you liked your song, John. I don't write just for the sake of writing, I can only write when something inspires me deeply. So you should feel wonderful about the fact that you've become my inspiration. Enjoy the song, it's all for you, buddy.

October 2010

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