jspencer1986: (Default)
It's almost Christmas. I love the fact that I get to be home with my family, but I guess I'm kind of lonely. I keep reading about people being with their girlfriends and boyfriends and husbands and wives and it's kind of bringing me down. While I have come to terms with being single and the reasons behind it, Christmas is one of the hardest times for me. It's pretty much the only time of year when I give way too much thought to the fact that I'm alone in all this. Any other time I'm quite happy spending my spare time doing something I enjoy and not having to worry about what somebody else is doing/thinking, but times like this make me all too conscious of my relationship incompetence. My lack of "esso".

I don't claim to be the only person on the planet who has 'Christmas Issues'. Nor are my issues any better or worse then anybody elses. I just needed to vent my thoughts on the loneliness of a holiday that should be such a happy time.

Even the loneliest ones have partners tonight, or so it seems. Everyone but me.
jspencer1986: (Default)
I made the 7 hour motorbike ride up to my parents house today. Being so hot here, I didn't wear my motorbike jacket for fear of passing out from the heat. I used LOADS of sunscreen and reapplied like a bitch, but it didn't help. My arms, from my knuckles almost to the shoulder, as well as my legs from the knee down, are burnt BAD. I mean BAD. It's literally painful to move. I fear I may be spending Christmas Day sitting in one position getting drunk to block out the pain, but with any luck this gel stuff (for burns and sunburn) will help enough to make me at least half comfortable by then. I'm wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt for the trip home obviously. There's no way I would be able to work in this state, never mind the fact that I feel like I want to kill myself it's so painful. I thought I was being a good boy, using senscreen (I usually wouldn't have even bothered), but I guess that shit just doesn't work.

I also go to the optometrist tomorrow to get my eyes tested. That may also be slightly challenging in my current immobile state. But I'm SERIOUSLY due for new glasses. I'll be ecstatic to finally have some new ones when I get them in a couple weeks time.

Anyway, since me hands are burnt it's getting quite painful to type, I'm going to put some gel on and pass out.

I'm so happy you liked your song, John. I don't write just for the sake of writing, I can only write when something inspires me deeply. So you should feel wonderful about the fact that you've become my inspiration. Enjoy the song, it's all for you, buddy.

October 2010

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