jspencer1986: (Default)
Jye's been reading my LJ again. Hello, my boy :P

I had a great old chat to David tonight. We have way too many things in common. Hows this for something to have in common: We're both pathetic. But yeah Davo is a great guy to chat to.

Hunter I was thinking bout something. Since your coming to my party you'll need directions to my place wont you? :P I forget these things sometimes.

I need to start getting to sleep earlier, my whole timing is being thrown out of order. And David and Reid think I'm in love. That's NOT good.


*sigh* When does life get easier?
jspencer1986: (Default)
"I don't want to fall to pieces,
I just want to sit and stare at you -
I don't want to talk about it.
And I don't want a conversation,
I just want to cry in front of you -
I don't want to talk about it
Cause I'm in love with you."
- Avril Lavigne, 'Fall to Pieces'


Ever heard a song that says everything you have been trying to find the words to say?

Avril seems to have that effect for me. Aside from the fact that I can listen to both of her albums without feeling the need to skip past a song, the good thing about Avril is that she has a plain simple way of saying everything you always felt like saying but didnt know how.

Even if you can't say it directly to the person you want to, at least you would know how to say it if you ever had the guts.

Oh yeah, I sent Jye another text tonight. Since he wasnt coming online tonight I thought I'd send him a nice message to take his mind off assignment stress. This is what i sent -

I'd hand to you the moon and sun,
To let you know that you're the one,
The one who makes life seem worthwhile,
And instead of crying, makes me smile :)
Miss u.


He thinks I'm a true romantic now :D

Peace.
jspencer1986: (Default)
I got the new Avril CD today!! I think that's funny considering it was only released at 9:00 this morning :P

But anyways I listened to it, and it's fuckin' amazing! No prizes for guessing who half the songs remind me of though lol.

Speaking of Jye, here's a couple of the messages i have received, just so everybody else thinks he's as sweet as I do :P

About 11:30 last night - "Miss u already" (He only went offline about 2 mins before he sent the message.)

19th May about 6:30 - "aww Jamesy my boy i wish i could make all ur worries disappear, if i could i would"

AWWW. Gotta love my boi. *Accusing stare directed at everyone* No, you can't have him, I want him all for my own lol.

I shall call him squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my squishy!
jspencer1986: (Default)
*whimpers*

Miss my Jye more each day. Between the talking every night online and the text messages all day (and sometimes at odd hours of the night) you'd think I'd be pretty contented. But no. I have to get all 'romance novel' and totally miss him for every spare second of the day.

I'm usually not the type to be like this about someone but I guess things change. I mean, if someone had told me 6 months ago that I would be head over heels for a GUY I would have laughed in their face. But just look at me. Everytime I talk about Jye apparently I turn into the faggiest trannyboy my friends have ever seen. Even Jye says so. Hmm, gunna have to stop that I think.

But he's just too cute. DAMMIT.
jspencer1986: (Default)
I feel the urge to write. I have stories in my head and nowhere for them to go because they are so random. They don't belong anywhere. So I guess I'll put some here.

The Last Time
He poured his heart and soul into the letter that he wrote her, and wore a grim expression, hoping for the best while fearing the absolute worst. Fleeting visions of times past ran menacingly through his mind, embracing the dark corners and empty crevices of his consciousness. Memories of talking for hours, of how her scent still lingered in the air long after she'd gone, and the last time they touched. Then his final reverie, of ending their unspoken bond and walking from her while a solitary tear made it's journey down his cheek. Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes to hours, as he tried not to imagine what life was going to be like without her there to tell him everything would soon be alright.
Continued here, if you're still interested... )

~~~~~~~~

I spose there really isn't that much else to say except I miss my boy and I want chicken.
jspencer1986: (Default)
Hmm okay, so I told my Year 11/12 English teacher that I fell hard for her within the first few months she was teaching me. Mind you I graduated last year so it's been almost 2 years since then. I told her in an email yesterday afternoon and had a reply by last night. Strangely enough she said it didnt freak her out and that frankly she was surprised I didnt say anything sooner. Go figure right?

Her and I were best of friends back when I was going to school. We would stay behind and talk for ages after class, then I'd walk her to her staffroom and drop her off safe and sound - to her boyfriend. She was the first to know I was trans, and the first to tell me it wasn't going to be easy but she would be behind me all the way. She was amazing.

Anyway after I got her email last night, I decided it was time I emailed her back again and said everything I always wanted to say but never thought I'd have the chance. I told her what I thought about her, how everything I did seemed more important when I was with her and how when she said she was proud of me it was the first time I really believed it. Corny I know - but all true. So anyways now I am playing the waiting game to see if she even has the guts to reply back and tell me what she thinks of it all. Hopefully she will, because it's a bitch not knowing, and even if it's bad news it's better than being left hanging like I am now.

And in other news, Reid's party was sweet as. Meeting all the boys was fantastic and for the first time in ages I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. Simon - he's a madman, gotta love him. Jim, Heath, Hunter - all total legends, I can't wait to see more of those guys. Paige - totally awesome sense of humour (Next time I'm bringing the salsa dip :P). Reid - he's a great guy, and so hilarious when he's drunk. And Jye - well, Jye knows he's my boy all the way. So all in all, great night, great people, great time.

Peace.

October 2010

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